Western Man (Currently Not) In Japan!
Can’t believe its nearly over……..

As the title says can’t believe its nearly been a year! How the fuck has this happened. I still remember leaving. I still remember saying goodbye in the Nags the night before I left. I still remember the tears. The last goodbyes. The fact that things would never be the same again and boarding the plane to a new adventure. Now its almost over. This time in a week or so I will be back in Reading. Back in the old room I grew up in for a month or so. Everyone else seems pretty happy about returning but if I’m honest I couldn’t give two shits. I miss my friends and family but the thought of having to return to that hole known as Reading makes my skin crawl. I have never really prayed for anything but if I did it would be for that shithole of a town to be washed away or burnt to the ground. Along with most of the people who live there (Of course I hope all the few amazing people who I actually like from that place escape and come live with me in bliss on an island somewhere away from the cunts. Everyone else can burn slowly or get SARS!) Fuck I hate Reading! The crack head who seems to never be able to get to fucking oxford, tilehurst, the idiots who walk friar street every weekend, the hipsters, the purple turtle, oxford rd, the 3bs, posh students. The list goes on. However sometimes I think hard and remember what it is thats good about this shithole I call my home town. The people. My family. End. Fuck! I can’t wait to be supping a brew with the lads, giving my mum a fucking hug, eating a curry with my old man, listening to my sister moan (:D love you x), going for a run with the iron man, being the best man at my best fucking friend’s wedding. Finding the C bomb and giving him a massive kiss! Talking music for hours and hours. BBQ’s, camping in freezing conditions, putting the world to rights over a warm pint, English footy on a sunday thats not at 3 in the morning. That’s what I can’t wait for. I think if I have learnt anything from being in Japan its one thing. The most important thing in the whole world is not money, its not having a good job and working yourself to death its simple. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH AMAZING PEOPLE!!!! I’m gonna miss all the people I have spent time with in this country. (Minus a couple….)

The taiko team, amazing people, probably one of the greatest things I have done in my life is taiko. You saved me from going mad, from doing myself in with the booze (Though saying that I pretty much always woke up with a hangover after we met….) Stopped me from freaking out and going back to England early cause my lady left me. Thanks you saved me from myself and made this whole experience amazing! I will never forget hita or the gion. Both were truly amazing times.

Then theres the uni crew. I have to say uni in Japan is not what I hoped for. It’s like a high school full of people doing syncronised dancing. Glee style. Not cool, Not fun and definatly not cool! (I know I said that twice!) In England these people are paraded about on national TV like a freak show for stupid people to eat their saturday take away and with their greasy fat fingers text votes in for which one was the most lovely or some shit while they wait for death. However, the whole uni experience was made again by the people. Mr Bell, Mr King, Mr Penders, Miss Mura, Miss Bonsu etc………It’s been fun. I don’t do emotions as my Dad smashed them out of me when I was young with a hammer but if I did I would say your all lovely people! (or something a little more nice that I refuse to post on an internet blog that no one reads. ;D)

So what have I learnt from this time to myself.

1. I still fucking love Japan.

2. I now have a wierd love for smileys…..(>o<), O_O, ;D etc…..

3. I can use Chopsticks and I don’t like Natto.

4. When you say konichiwa some people take that as you being fluent.

5. I still love sushi.

6. Lots of Japanese people think all British people only eat Fish and Chips or Roast Beef.

7. Western people can drink a shit load more than our eastern brothers.(I am including Russia and eastern europe as western here. I can’t drink vodka for breakfast or use absynth as a mouthwash.)

8. Nomihodai may mean all you want drink but by putting a time limit on drinking means all you CAN drink! 

9. You shouldn’t put seaweed in pasta.

10. Japanese language is hard. I found out recently that all gaijin sound like transsexuals cause we are all pretty much taught by women. Amazing. So now I have to try and learn to be a man in a language I only have a mild use of.

11. Expressing yourself in a forigen language is hard. (From that spelling so is using my own language)

12. Tokyo is big.

13. So many different types of beers in the shops but they all taste the same with different writing. Though the one with mint in it is in a league of its own.

14. When people say Japan gets hot and humid in the summer don’t reply with ‘its cool. I love hot weather’ You will end up with egg on your face (cooked egg its that hot!).

15. Japanese girls are fit.

16. Japan is unaware that it has a class system.

17. I like short skirts.

18. Squat toilets are a thing of the past and its time they were returned to that time!

19. You shouldn’t be proud of a toilet!

20. I don’t want to go home.

21. I miss indian curry!

22. People love a good stare.

23. Pretending to be stupid gets you out of trouble.

24. Being white and thus stupid gets you out of trouble.

25. I now like Ice Cream.

26. Eating cheese is not a hobby.

27. Saying ‘what you been up to?’ causes problems.

28. Japanese people need to learn the word no.

29. Bread should not be sweet and the size of a door stop.

30. Strawberries are not a sandwich filler!

31. Onigiri is still amazing!

32. Fanta grape needs to be released in the UK.

33. I don’t give a shit about the olympics.

34. Dart should be a game played from 501 not who can get the highest score. Plus you should go for triple twenty not the bull everytime!

35. Darts is well popular out here!

36. When you tell someone you don’t eat meat they look like you just killed a member of there family.

37. Fish smells.

38. Pig smells.

39. My hangovers are now beyond horrible.

40. When you order a beer you must have a little bowl of stuff that looks like its been picked out of the bin to accompany.

41. Western people are locust. Leave a bowl of fried chicken or some beers or even a plate of fermented fish guts and it will be destroyed by the time you return from the bathroom!

42. ‘All western people look the same to us.’

43. Koreans and Japanese look the same.

44. Being white you can still enjoy being racially abused.

45. Kimchi fucking stinks and should not be left on your balcony. (I’m looking at you wierd Korean neighbour of mine!)

46. Spitting at 4am is disgusting and annoying! (#Cough# Korean neighbour)

47. You can do things here in Japan that if you did at home people would tell you your a fucking idiot. However here no one bats an eyelid.

48. Japanese Second Division footy is slow!

49. I miss cheap veg.

50. I miss loud guitars.

51. The adjustment period to Japanese living is about a month. You will crap yourself at least once. Or have some close calls!!!!!

So yeh. Theres a list of 51 things I feel like I’ve learnt. I will be back in the UK in less than two weeks now and I have to once again say. I can’t be arsed. The flight alone is too long. However I canna wait to see everyone!!!!

It best be sunny when I get back England! Otherwise I’m gonna be mad………Guys get the beers in the freezer and some mushrooms prept for the BBQ I’m coming home baby!!!!!! x

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